I Didn't Want to Need Anyone

The concept of lone wolf is not new and has run through the culture of manhood throughout history.

We see the glory and strength in doing things on our own. We see the prestige and respect earned from the independent hero who doesn’t need a shoulder to cry on.

However, reality comes back into play and when we try the route of fighting the armies alone, we stumble and break.

We want to be like David and fight Goliath all on our own. No armor. No help. But we forget that David had more help than all who tried to face the giant.

He had the all powerful loving God on his side. And not only that, he walked up to the giant with the backing of the king.

So though he physically stood before the giant alone, he had the support and assistance of the king of Israel and the most powerful being in the universe.

My personal reflection on this is that I find myself falling into the facade of being the lone hero. I don’t want to need anyone.

I feel as though that seems to be the safer option, because if I don’t need anyone than I won’t be forgotten or neglected. Without a person to lean on, there isn’t a person to have fail you.

How fragile and sad a thought to cling to. What kind of a life does this breed? A life of security and strength? Not in my experience. In the effort to not need any help, I end up needing all the more.

This has brought me down the road of trying to impress God rather than love Him. I want to show Him that I’m strong and can do it all on my own. But this is not what the Father wants.

He wants to run out and wrap His arms around us. He wants us to love each other and lean on our brothers.

This life was not meant to be shouldered alone. That is the beauty of our faith and the beauty of our shared brotherhood.

This past week or so, I was falling into a pit of despair and darkness. Feeling the walls grow taller and taller. The tunnel extending and darkening. I felt like there was no more joy and very little to look forward to. I felt stuck, I felt scared, and I felt alone.

Thanks be to God, there are amazing men right here in this Brotherhood that I have come to call my brothers.

Once I was able to open up and just share that I was in fact not doing okay, I was then able to experience the love of a brother. This is all we want to hear. For someone to say, “I love you even on your worst day.”

And I was blessed to hear that exact phrase. It is amazing how quickly the clouds part when you get the chance to speak heart to heart with someone, and they accept you.

It is magnificent when you come to know that there is another person on this earth that cares for you, loves you, and accepts all of you.

It’s life changing when you come to believe that the God that made everything, loves you infinitely more; always has and always will.

Not only that, He wants the best for you and care / /s about every single facet of your life.

I don’t know where my days would have lead me to had I not had these brothers in my life to stand by me and walk the walk with me. If you’re like me and just need SOMEONE to be there with you, then this is the place. You have brothers here, loving you, accepting you, and supporting you.

You don’t have to do it alone! Do it with some brothers.